Malibu Riviera to Secede
From Rest of Malibu

Secession is still hotter than a summer wildfire and has now reached this affluent bedroom community north of Los Angeles.

By George Wolfe

MALIBU -- A wealthy area known as the Malibu Riviera has officially given notice that it intends to secede from other less-wealthy sections of Malibu.

"I know it might seem petty," says initiative spokesman, Lester D. Baumgartenier III, "but the simple truth is that their homes sell for under $7 mil, and we just can't afford to have our real estate values depreciated by those sorts of figures. I hate to put it like this, but they're essentially slumming it, just on a higher level. And it's killing our bottom line."

The Malibu secession movement comes on the heels of the November elections, in which the San Fernando Valley and Hollywood were turned down by voters in their bids to seceed from the city of Los Angeles.

Malibu's latest "micro-secession" comes on the heels of the 3500 Woodland Hills Avenue block's announcement that it intends to secede from the 3600 Woodland Hills Avenue block.
And there are now rumblings that Santa Monica might also break up into downtown, Ocean Park and East Santa Monica sections.

Baumgartenier claims to be "highly confident" that residents of Malibu Riviera can afford "whatever personnel or infrastructure that's needed to run a small country — let alone a little city."