Anticipating a guilty verdict, construction
speeds forward on a Never Ever Land amusement park.
Special to The LaLa Times
by Brad Schreiber
SANTA MARIA, Ca. —-- With the possibility of a future
conviction for child molestation and other charges, pop star
and plastic surgery horror story Michael Jackson has announced
plans to build an amusement park, only for boys, near the prison
where he expects to be incarcerated.
Without admitting guilt, Jackson has struck a deal with Santa
Barbara County officials to purchase land adjacent to a cell
which he has put a $40,000 deposit on, so no other prisoner
may use it.
Jackson, 45, is charged with committing a lewd act upon a
child, administering an intoxicating agent, conspiring to commit
child abduction, false imprisonment, extortion, and frightening
a minor with improper use of plastic surgery and makeup.
The amusement park, to be constructed outside the west wing
of the Los Olivos State Prison, will be called Never Ever Land,
in reference to Jackson’s estate, Neverland, four miles
away. Plans for Never Ever Land include free admission for all
male children under 18, free food and drink and free rides and
attractions, including "Jump On Michael's Bed," a
huge trampoline replica of Jackson's bed, where boys will be
encouraged to jump up and down wearing nothing more than athletic
Another attraction in the works for Never Ever Land is the
"Drop Zone," a replica of the Adlon Hotel in Berlin,
where in 2002 Jackson threatened to drop his son from a fourth
floor window, apparently due to media pressure although an unnamed
Santa Maria district attorney suggested, "It might be because
he is simply crazier than bat shit."
The "Drop Zone"will enable older children to dangle
and then drop smaller children onto a thick foam pad without
any harm whatsoever. A bullseye with numerical values will enable
children to compete against each other for prizes.
Jackson attorney Tom Sneddon claims, "This will improve
the children's hand-eye coordination and encourage them to have
fun, the kind their parents would never ever allow them to have.
That is the kind of humanitarian my client is."