boulderdash n: a road game played by California drivers during the wet season <Penelope called her friend to tell her about the ~ that was already underway along Pacific Coast Highway.> -more-

 
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 Entertainment

Reality Show Armageddon Survivor Scares World to Death

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il brings the world to the brink of annihilation only to announce that he's part of a political reality show. The "armaggedon" episode broke international TV-ratings records.

HOLLYWOOD —— The season finale of Armageddon Survivor reality TV show went out on a bang last night. Leading up to the finale, diplomats and power brokers from countries all over the world have been trying to dissuade North Korea's dictator Kim Jong-il from launching preemptive nuclear missile strikes against South Korea, Russia and China, which could have set up a scenario of apocalyptic proportions.

The dictator allegedly received $5 million for convincing the world that Armageddon was nigh.



"Creating a fictitious Cuban Missile Crisis scenario surpassed our wildest expectations. We just couldn't pass up the opportunity. Sorry if it caused anybody stress.'"

—— Ned Singleton,
ABC producer


 

THE LAST LAUGH: Jong's cabinet was filled with a combination of actual soldiers as well as actors.

The reality TV show's ratings went through the roof, with roughly 2 out of 6 households in the world tuning in to watch the drama surrounding the Earth's imminent destruction. In order to receive the award money from ABC, Jong had to get at least 100,000 enemy troops amassed along his borders and he had to cause the activation of U.S. battle stations to a Code Red level.

Jong plans to use the money to rebuild the troubled railway system in his financially beleaguered country, though no officials in his government could guarantee the money would go toward that cause.

The show culminates with a shot of a crazed and angry-looking Jong on the phone, about to give the message to fire missiles, when he turns to the camera, smiles, and is joined by the show's producer, Ned Singleton, who reads a prepared statement:

"We hope there are no hard feelings over this," say Singleton, "We set out to show how the world can come together in a crisis. But once we realized how good of an actor Kim was at eliciting that hair-trigger crazy guy thing, we changed the script and upped the stakes. Creating a fictitious Cuban Missile Crisis scenario surpassed our wildest expectations and we just couldn't pass up the opportunity. Sorry if it caused anybody stress."

UP IN ARMS: Jong marches with troops in a colorful display of force.

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ISSUE # 17

Beverly Hills Morgue Offers Herbal Body Wraps

Reality Show Armageddon Survivor Scares World to Death

California Indian Tribes to Share Casino Profits
in Exchange for Nevada and Arizona