Alzheimer's Theme Park
robot figures to wow kids and adults as major attraction.
Special to The LaLa Times
by Brad Schreiber
SIMI VALLEY, Ca. —— The passing of
former President Ronald Reagan has prompted the development of a
bizarre new theme park on the grounds of the Reagan library, to
be based on topic of the debilitating Alzheimer's Disease.
Tentatively called "Foggyland," the
amusement park will take up 35 contiguous acres and feature such
attractions as the Find the Car Keys Pavilion and the Do I Know
You? photo booth, in which the participant's face is photographed,
altered to look like someone else and then provided as a souvenir.
"Foggyland will be a great theme park attraction for all ages," said Cale McMurdo Vice President of Corporate Obfuscation for the park. "And if adults over the age of 65 can provide a note from a doctor proving they have organic brain dysfunction not related to an accident, self-inflicted wound or earlier mental retardation, they get in free!"
Reagan, who suffered from Alzheimer's Disease
even while president, prompting him to make up stories that never
happened and liken plots of old movies to the complex nature of
geopoltics, will also be represented at Foggyland by a full-sized
automaton, similar to the Disneyland exhibit with Abraham Lincoln.
"Ask Ronnie" will be a robotic replica of the fortieth president, a painstaking recreation right down to his dyed hair and "aww, shucks" demeanor. He will have 32,000 different show business stories programmed into his memory banks as a response to anything asked of it. If a question is deemed too difficult, it will receive a standardized, "There you go again," or "We begin bombing in five minutes" response from the mechanical Reagan.
Foggyland, slated for unveiling this Fall —
or was it next Spring?–— will have a huge, institutional
cafeteria for dining, called The What-Is-This-I'm-Eating Café
and the theme park will also boast 614 Lost and Found kiosks for
If you enjoyed this article, be sure to check
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I ROBOT, REAGAN: This lifelike automaton is just
one of the many features at the new theme park, Foggyland, inspired
by former President Ronald Reagan.