boulderdash n: a road game played by California drivers during the wet season <Penelope called her friend to tell her about the ~ that was already underway along Pacific Coast Highway.> -more-

 
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 State

Governor Arm Wrestles Key Demos
For Budget Agreement

Special to The LaLa Times
by Brad Schreiber

SACRAMENTO — California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger broke a 26-day budget impasse with key state Democrats by calling them "girlie men" and engaging seven, including Senate President Pro Tem John Burton in arm wrestling matches.

Echoing a Saturday Night Live TV sketch in which two bodybuilders with Austrian accents chided weak men, Schwarzenegger putting the finishing touches on the state’s $103 billion budget by calling Burton and others in his party not only "girlie men" but "Wimpocrats and puny, tiny little babies and stuff."


TESTING POLITICAL MIGHT: Schwarzenegger's taunts brought the legislature to a halt as statesmen from both sides of the aisle waged impromptu arm wrestling bouts.

The opposition was not impressed, insisting that Schwarzenegger and California Republicans have not only made cuts to health, education and environmental programs but have borrowed an additional $5 billion with $1.5 billion more in accounting tricks which may not save the Golden State any money.

In a move that may not have been entirely spontaneous, Schwarzenegger stunned the legislature by first appearing in a Brioni suit but quickly stripping it off, to reveal a Gold’s Gym tee shirt and workout shorts emblazoned with The Terminator film slogan "Hasta la vista, baby" over the buttocks.

Uttering the challenge "I will sign off on anything if you can beat me in arm wrestling," Schwarzenegger proceeded to force one political leader after another to grapple with him, whipping each one with ease and forcing many to cry out in pain, after which he chuckled and, in the case of veteran politico Burton, referred to him as "an aging, flabby pussy-boy."

Burton, like many of his colleagues, was seen later in the day sporting a sling for his damaged arm. Certain unnamed Democratic party officials are investigating whether the Governor can be charged with assault and battery, since many of those he arm wrestled did not agree verbally to do so.

Asked how he conceived of the stunt that would resolve the budget negotiations for the fifth largest economy in the world, Schwarzenegger replied, "It was very difficult and tricky, too, you know? My first idea was to bring in a prop gun from one of The Terminator movies and threaten to shoot them if they didn’t agree.."


IT'S UNANIMOUS!: Schwarzenegger's strong-armed tactics are paying off.

SERIOUS POLITICS:
Senate President Pro Tem John Burton, after arm wrestling with Governor Schwarzenegger.


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ISSUE # 21

Catholic Priests Compete in Reality TV Show:
Lead Us Not Into Temptation

Governor Arm Wrestles Key Demos For Budget Agreement