Swallowed By Sinkhole
After elimination from the playoffs, the
Lakers' team bus is swallowed up by the earth. No signs of life
remain in a team that had been lifeless for much of the season.
Owner Jerry Buss and God are being questioned about the tragedy.
LOS ANGELES. — The Los Angeles Lakers didn't
think things could get any worse.
But after becoming only the fourth Laker team not to make the playoffs
in 45 years, the question of "how low can you go" was
begging to be answered. On the way back from the LAX airport after
a season-ending defeat, the team bus mysterious careened into a
sinkhole along Route 1.
Though the tragedy would seem to be an act of nature, Laker owner
Jerry Buss was brought in for questioning. Buss, who is largely
responsible for sending Shaquille O'Neal away and breaking up the
Lakers, is suspected of causng the massive sinkhole in order to
get a fresh chance to rebuild his team.
— God Almighty, on whether the Laker demise
is due to hubris.
Buss could not be reached for comment, but
his secretary assured reporters that the owner would never kill off
his own team, no matter how desperate he might be to erase his mistakes.
Police, however, recovered empty cases of dynamite, and a shovel,
that were found in the trunk of Buss' car.
Or was it all a classic case of hubris -- of God smiting the high
and mighty dynasty shortly after its three-peat reign?
"I have no comment on that," said God, defering to Johnny
Cochran, his newly deceased/hired lawyer. "well, maybe it had
a little to do with it. You got to admit, they had it coming."