Los
Angeles Stakes Claim
to Martian Water
The City of Los Angeles and NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab inked a deal in which Southern Californians would gain access to any water resources discovered on Mars.
By George Wolfe
PASADENA, Ca. — Senior management at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory acknowledged today the signing of a joint agreement with the city of Los Angeles which "stakes a claim to any and all water found by NASA's Spirit and Opportunity rovers."
City officials acknowledged that the freshly
inked deal represented an ongoing effort to secure long-term sources
of water for the ever-growing metropolitan population of Southern
California. Los Angeles already gets water from as far away as the
Colorado River, but this new pact would be unprecedented in its
scope.
"We firmly believe that Mars offers enormous
potential for potable water and we want to be on the cutting edge
of water acquisition." — Harold
Feinstein,
Water District Commissioner
Officials would not specify how they would
extract and deliver the water back to California, but anonymous scientific
sources hinted that "enormous plastic baggies attached to unmanned
rockets" would haul the water back through space and drop it
in Santa Monica Bay, where it would be retrieved by tug boats.
"Exactly how it happens is on a need-to-know
basis for now," says regional water district commissioner,
Harold Feinstein. "We're ironing out the details. The important
thing is that the region is thinking proactively and progressively
— that is, `out of the box' relative to competing water agencies
in other states and countries. We firmly believe that Mars offers
enormous potential for potable water and we want to be on the cutting
edge of water acquisition."
Private companies are also jumping on board. Water
drink manufacturer Perrier has declared its interest in the Martian
water market. Perrier representative, Jacque Denefle, remarked that,
"Yes, it is true. We have a wonderful new product that we're
very excited about. We are calling it `Martian Springs.'"
But Pepsi Co. isn't far behind. It's in beta-testing of an artificially
colored soda made with Martian water. The company is billing the
new beverage simply as The Big Red Drink.
Never one to be outdone, the city of Los Angeles plans to inaugurate its new deal with NASA at a ribbon-cutting ceremony held at the Earth's first swimming pool filled entirely with Martian water.
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LIFE ON MARS?: Scientists believe that these Martian
gullies suggest a history of water on Mars.
THE RED PLANET: This photo, taken by NASA's Spirit rover, shows a Martian landscape with evidence of water deposits.
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