California
Beaches to Close on Sundays
SACRAMENTO – Due to grave fiscal concerns,
today Governor Davis signed into law legislation that will close
all California beaches on Sundays.
Speaking at a press conference, Davis defended
his actions: "There's no way around this. It's a painful process;
everybody's got to share in that pain. And since everybody uses
the beaches, we decided thatwould be a good place to save some money."
Responsibility for the beaches entails regular
maintenance of the physical landscape as well as providing the personnel
to ensure safety for beach-goers."
Over my dead body they'll stop me
from using the beach. Come on guys, get your priorities straight.
What, like there aren't any more public schools left to shut down?!"
— Cindy
Tinzel, Hemosa Beach resident
The reaction of Californians was mixed.
Up north in Santa Cruz, Knute Gangley —
a nude sunbather and avid surfer — wasn't surprised. "It's
karma coming back around. We take the water and the beaches and
this whole earthly paradise for granted, so now we're going to miss
it. It's like Joanie Mitchell said once, 'Sometimes you don't know
what you got 'til it's gone.' Maybe we deserve it. Let's just hope
they won't pave paradise and put up a parking lot to cover our past
mistakes."
In the Southland, at Hermosa Beach, Cindy Tinzel
is a self-described "religious beach bum." She doesn't
quite share the sentiments of her northern compatriot in debt. "What
a bunch of lousy crooks! Over my dead body they'll stop me from
using the beach. Come on guys, get your priorities straight. What,
like there aren't any more public schools left to shut down? If
the state stopped buying needles and condoms for junkies, then maybe
they could keep the beaches running. I mean, what is this administration
thinking anyway?!"
Depending on how well the cost-cutting
beach closure program goes, more days of the week could get the
axe — at least until the state's budget finally turns around.
FUTURE SHOCK:
The new look of Sundays at Manhattan Beach.
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