boulderdash n: a road game played by California drivers during the wet season <Penelope called her friend to tell her about the ~ that was already underway along Pacific Coast Highway.> -more-

 
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Liesure & Lifestyle

H-, I- and J-String Bikinis
Follow G-String Suit

The annual Itsy-Bitsy Bikini Fashion Show unveils a truly revolutionary line of new bikinis by Italian designer, Venividivicci.

By George Wolfe

MANHATTAN BEACH, Ca — Summer may still be months away, but you'd never know it by the looks of runway models at this year's Itsy-Bitsy Bikini Fashion Show. The show typically features "the avant-garde of micro-swimwear," but the designs for this coming year make the standard women's suits look enormously conservative.

Most notable was Sergio Venividivicci's bold new H-, I- and J-string bikinis, which pushed beyond the limits of the classic 20th Century, G-string paradigm. In fact, the renowned Italian designer made a huge splash by instigating the first major swim suit evolution of the 21st Century.


"I wanted to say more with less. The idea is not that bigger is better, but that the bare essentials are everything."

Venividivicci,
Italian micro-swimwear designer


"I am the lungfish of fashion," declared Venividivicci. "My designs are to swimwear what Mondrian is to women's shoes. This time I wanted to say more with less. The idea is not that bigger is better, but that the bare essentials are everything."

Bare is an understatement.

Mia Menkoff, a swimsuit marketer who attended the evening's festivities said, "These certainly are radical designs. But in terms of substance… well, my dental floss covers more skin than that J-string bikini!"

Venividivicci's new series of bikinis diminishes in size as it moves down the alphabet. The "suits" (if they may be called as such) get progressively more risqué — leaving fashion experts to little wonder what the Z-string bikini will behold (if anything at all).

Conservative arbiters of decency had a field day with the controversial new designs. National TV shows featuring Venividivicci's designs triggered a landslide of angry emails and mortified letters sent to Attorney General John Ashcroft.

In response, Ashcroft issued a brief statement: "Like most red-blooded, God-fearing Americans, this irks me to no end. Certainly, it rubs against everything our Puritan forefathers held dear."

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HANGING BY A THREAD: The cutting edge of micro swimwear easily fits in a purse or pocket.

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ISSUE # 11

H-, I- and J-String Bikinis Follow G-String Suit

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